


Fear and Hope

by Queerdinary, RedPandaPrincess



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-10-30 16:27:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10880589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerdinary/pseuds/Queerdinary, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPandaPrincess/pseuds/RedPandaPrincess
Summary: Exploring emotions between Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine... Set after the events of the episode Hope and Fear (that's the one with Arturis who was going to have them assimilated) and the following episode The Void.This story is finally officially complete, thanks to my amazing new friend Queerdinary!! Don't know if it would have gotten done without her!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot I started typing this one up last night so I'm gonna post it before I head off to my appointment today.

Captain Kathryn Janeway paced the halls of her ship Voyager. It was not uncommon to find the starship captain wandering aimlessly during gamma shift, especially after a day like today. Another close brush with death – or assimilation, in this case – but she had grown almost used to that. Just another day in the life of a captain stranded in the Delta Quadrant.

No, tonight something else was on her mind. Or someone. Seven of Nine, formerly of the Borg Collective until Kathryn had severed her, helped her return to her humanity. It had been a rough start but they'd become friends in the last year.

When Seven had voiced a desire to remain in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn's heart had sank. She'd done her best not to show how hurt she was and tried to reason with the girl. They had ended up arguing as they had so much recently.

Later, when an alien named Arturis locked the two of them in a brig on his ship, intent on having them assimilated, Seven admitted it was fear that kept her from wanting to return to the Alpha Quadrant. She was afraid of being on a planet with billions of other individuals. She didn't want to rejoin the Collective. Kathryn was relieved.

They had been rescued from Arturis' ship but something Seven had said bothered Kathryn. She thought back to their argument in Astrometrics.

_“You've attempted to influence my development. You exposed me to your culture, your ideals. You hoped to shape me in your own image,” Seven accused. “But you have failed. You may have noticed our tendency to disagree.”_

_“Oh, I've noticed,” Janeway retorted, feeling angry. She hadn't tried to mold the girl in her image...had she?_

_“Then you must also recognize that I do not share your values. Your desire to explore space is inefficient. Your need for familial connections is a weakness. Your infatuation with this planet is irrational.”_

_“I won't argue that you've turned out differently than I expected and that we often have conflicting points of view. But right now, the stakes are higher. This crew needs your expertise,” she said, not letting herself say how much she needed her. She couldn't let it be personal. “Abandon them and you diminish their chances of getting home.”_

_“Irrelevant,” Seven retorted._

_“No, it's not. We've given you a lot, Seven. It's time you gave something in return.”_

_“I have,” Seven said coldly. “On many occasions.”_

It was this argument that bothered Kathryn as she wandered the halls, unable to sleep. Of course Seven had done a lot for them. The Astrometrics Lab and her vast knowledge of the Delta Quadrant made her invaluable. If it wasn't for her they may not have made it this far. Kathryn hadn't meant to sound ungrateful.

She wanted Seven to know that she appreciated her but she wasn't sure how to let her know. She decided to visit Cargo Bay 2 where she knew Seven would be regenerating. She often watched the former drone regenerate when her mind was restless. She found it soothing.

As she entered the Cargo Bay she saw immediately that Seven was not in her alcove.

“Computer, locate Seven of Nine,” Kathryn said, frowning.

“ _Seven of Nine is in Cargo Bay 2_ ,” the automated voice responded.

“I am here, Captain,” Seven said, stepping out of the shadows, surprising the captain.

“What are you doing standing in the shadows?”

“I was merely thinking. Did you require my assistance?” Seven asked, hands clasped behind her back.

“Couldn't sleep either, huh?”

“I do not sleep, I regenerate. It is much more efficient. Did you require something?” she asked.

“No, just...I'm not sure why I came down here really,” Kathryn admitted, suddenly feeling very foolish. Seven quirked her ocular implant and the captain turned to leave.

“Captain, wait.”

Kathryn paused just short of the door and turned back to face the former drone. She looked uncertain, her blue eyes troubled.

“I...am having trouble regenerating,” Seven admitted. “Our argument when I thought our return to Earth imminent has been replaying in my eidetic memory.”

“It's been weighing on my mind as well,” Kathryn said with a sigh, walking over to sit on the dais that held the Borg alcove.

“I find I regret some of the things I said. They were lies and I do not know why I said them.”

“Fear often makes us say things we don't mean,” she replied, motioning for Seven to sit beside her. The blonde shook her head.

“As a drone I did not experience fear,” she said almost wistfully.

“You weren't the only one scared, Seven.”

“You were afraid of returning to the Alpha Quadrant?” Seven asked disbelievingly.

“Well, no.”

“Then you were afraid of Arturis? Of being assimilated?”

“Not really, no. I knew we'd find our way out of there.”

“Then what were you afraid of, Captain?”

“...I was afraid of losing you,” she admitted, looking down at the deck.

“Oh,” Seven said surprised. She sat down next to Kathryn finally. “I found both options evoked a fear response.”

“What do you mean?”

“Returning to Earth, being around so many individuals...or being alone here, without y- without the crew. Both were unappealing.”

Kathryn looked at her with a sad sort of smile and covered the former drone's hand with hers.

“I am glad you decided to stay.”

“As am I... I did not mean it when I saw getting this crew home was irrelevant. It is not.”

“I know you didn't mean it, Seven,” she said, squeezing her hand.

“While I have no personal interest in returning to the Alpha Quadrant...you do. And I am prepared to do everything I can to help you reach your destination, Captain.”

“I...I'm pleased to hear you say that, Seven,” Kathryn said, feeling her throat tighten with emotion. She waited a moment and squeezed Seven's hand again before speaking more. “I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have already done for this ship, the crew... I don't know if we would have made it this far without you.”

“I believe you would have,” Seven stated.

“You do?”

“Yes. I happen to know Voyager's captain can be very determined...and stubborn,” she said with the faintest of smiles. Kathryn smiled in return.

“You should rest. I expect you ready for a Velocity match tomorrow...unless you don't want to?”

“I do,” Seven said quickly. “I enjoy our matches, Captain.”

“Good. I don't want you to think I'm trying to turn you into me. I'm just sharing my interests with you. I want you to think for yourself – even if it means we butt heads a lot of the time.”

“I understand, Captain,” Seven said softly as Kathryn stood to leave. “However...there are worse individuals to emulate.”

Kathryn smiled and walked over to the computer to begin the regeneration cycle for her as Seven stepped into her alcove.

“Get some rest, Seven,” Kathryn said.

“Sleep well, Captain,” Seven said and Kathryn began the cycle.

 

 

The next evening they emerged from Holodeck One, sweating. Seven's hair was in disarray and she was breathing hard.

“You continue to be a frustrating opponent, Captain,” Seven said. “However, I am determined to continue playing until I win.”

“You are quite a challenge for me, Seven. Don't think winning comes easy. You're not easy to beat.”

“You make it look easy,” she replied, to which Kathryn chuckled.

“I just have a lot of experience. You'll get there,” Kathryn assured. At that moment her stomach growled loudly, reminding the captain she had not eaten since lunch.

“Your stomach muscles are contracting audibly. You are hungry,” Seven said.

“I suppose it's past dinnertime. Would you care to join me for dinner in my quarters after I shower and change?”

“You usually only ask Commander Chakotay to dine with you in your quarters,” she responded.

“Chakotay is my friend just like you are, Seven.”

The drone tilted her head curiously, then nodded.

“I will join you,” she stated.

“Excellent,” Kathryn said, pleased. “Give me half an hour or so to shower and change, then meet me in my quarters.”

“I will comply,” Seven said.

 

45 minutes later Kathryn and Seven were seated in the captain's quarters. Knowing Seven rarely ate solid food, Kathryn had replicated a simple potato soup for them.

Kathryn had taken a quick sonic shower, then dressed in gray slacks and a simple black top. She figured she was off duty, she might as well be comfortable.

“You look...different,” Seven said when she entered, then furrowed her brow slightly as if that wasn't what she meant to say.

“Nice,” Seven tried again. “It is nice to see you out of uniform and relaxed.”

“Thank you, Seven,” she replied, smiling. “You look nice, too.”

“I am dressed how I am always dressed, Captain.”

“Well you always look nice,” she replied, groaning inwardly. “I, uh, like the blue.”

Seven was wearing her blue biosuit, which was secretly the captain's favorite. She thought the blue complimented the girl's eyes perfectly.

“Have a seat,” Kathryn said, pulling a chair out for her. “I know you don't eat solid food often so I replicated a simple potato soup.”

“It looks...good. I have heard Commander Chakotay say that you can not be trusted to use a replicator.”

“I swear that thing hates me,” she said with a laugh. “But I begged it to behave tonight and it seems to have worked.”

“I could assimilate it. It would be much more compliant,” Seven said stoically, but the corners of her mouth turned up slightly. Kathryn laughed loudly.

“I'll remember that offer,” she said lightly.

They talked as they ate about a variety of topics including Seven's work on the slipstream drive technology. When they finished the soup, they moved to the couch to continue talking. Kathryn had a glass of wine and insisted Seven have a glass as well. Seven sipped it slowly to be polite.

“I'm glad you are willing to return to earth. I know the idea of being one individual among a billion others is somewhat frightening to you. Hell, even I prefer quiet farm country to the crowded cities,” Kathryn said as she reclined on the couch.

“I will not give up on the slipstream drive. If it will make you happy to return to Earth, I will get you there.”

“You shouldn't do it just to please me, Seven.”

“We are friends, are we not?”

“We are.”

“Then it gives me pleasure to think of you being happy.”

Kathryn blushed faintly and took a sip from her glass.

“Have you thought about what you'll do when we reach Earth, Seven?” Kathryn asked.

“I am not sure. Starfleet will no doubt find my vast knowledge an asset.”

“You don't have to join Starfleet if you don't want to. You have the right to live whatever life you want.”

“I wish to be useful. I would be an efficient commodity for them. Although I do find the idea causes me some...anxiety.”

“If you find it all overwhelming for you...I...We can go to the country. Just you and me, somewhere quiet until you adapt.”

“I would like that. Thank you, Captain,” she said softly.

Kathryn set aside her almost empty wine glass. She yawned and stretched her back, which was sore. Her joints cracked and Seven's eyes widened slightly.

“Is the release of your synovial gas always so pronounced?”

“Beg pardon?” Kathryn asked.

“Your back. The popping is gas bubbles in the synovial fluid that lubricate your joints.”

“Oh that's just part of getting older. I usually take a bath to relax after a Velocity match.”

“Submerging yourself in liquid is relaxing?”

“Oh yes. A good hour-long soak loosens the muscles right up.”

“That is inefficient,” Seven said, standing up.

“Seven?”

“I have the assimilated knowledge of thousands of species on how best to relieve muscle tension. Stand.”

Curious, Kathryn stood up. Seven came to stand behind her and before she could protest began to rub her shoulders.

“Oh!...Oh wow,” the captain groaned as Seven's fingers worked like magic, finding the knots and working them gently out. She felt her legs turn to jelly and Seven gripped her arms to keep her from falling.

“This will be more efficient if you sit with your back to me.”

Not wanting to argue now that she had felt those magic fingers and not thinking clearly, Kathryn sat on the couch sideways, her feet up on one arm of the couch. Without hesitation Seven slid behind her, her long legs on either side of the captain. Feeling the warmth at the small of her back and the softness of breasts against her shoulders, Kathryn started to protest.

“W-ohh.” Her protests turned into a moan as Seven began to work her shoulders again.

Kathryn was in heaven as the former drone rubbed her shoulders then down to her back. She didn't even speak when Seven's hands slipped beneath her shirt. She was too enthralled with the way the hands – one human, one Borg – felt on her bare skin. The mesh on the Borg hand seemed warm, soothing away tension as the silky skin of the human hand stroked the soft skin of the captain's back, sending shivers through her. The hand traced along her shoulder, shoulder blade, down her back, across her ribs, to her breast – and Kathryn shot up in surprise. Seven quickly pulled her hands from beneath her shirt and scrambled to her feet.

“I'm sorry, Captain, I...I must regenerate,” she stammered quickly and hurried from the room, leaving a bewildered captain in her wake.

 


	2. Chapter 2

For the next several weeks the captain avoided her. Seven didn't know what to say to her. The feelings she had when she thought of the petite starship captain were unfamiliar to her. She had been feeling them for months. The fluttering in her abdomen when Kathryn was near, the warmth that spread through her systems when she touched her casually, the desire to be near her... She had resisted it at first, argued constantly with her to hide the feelings, hoping they would go away but they had not. And she had been relieved when they had made up after their argument. But then she had gotten too close. She'd been amazed with the sensations sent to her cortical node when she'd touched the captain's bare flesh. And she relived the 3.6 seconds where she had cupped her breast constantly. The softness of it, the weight, the way the nipple had hardened beneath her palm...

The captain had been shocked, no doubt repulsed by her actions. Seven had not waited around to hear the disgust in Kathryn's voice, but had fled to the Cargo Bay. When Kathryn had not followed her, she knew her actions had damaged their friendship.

Then they had entered The Void. That is what the crew called it. A region of space devoid of stars, of life. It would take them at least 2 years to cross.

As the days passed into weeks, Seven realized she no longer saw Kathryn on the bridge or in the mess hall. The crew said she had locked herself in her quarters and wouldn't come out. She had isolated herself from everyone. Seven had thought barely speaking to her captain had been painful...but to not see her at all was excruciating.

Four weeks into the Void, Seven stood in the Astrometrics Lab, staring at the expanse of nothingness on the screen. There was nothing to analyze, not even on long range sensors...nothing for the former drone to do. She helped in Engineering when she could but the Void had everyone on edge and B'elanna Torres loved to direct her Klingon temper at the Borg.

Seven stood at the console, staring into nothingness, reliving her last meal with the captain, when the doors opened behind her. For a moment she hoped it was the captain...but the hair on the back of her neck did not stand up, her heart did not race. The heavy footfalls told her it was Chakotay.

“Commander,” she said without turning around.

“Seven. Anything on sensors?” he asked.

 _Does it look like it_? She thought scornfully.

“No,” she said aloud.

“Trying to will some stars into existence?” he joked, which only served to annoy her more.

“Did you need something?” she asked coolly, finally turning to look at him.

“The captain...”

“Is she alright?” Seven asked, her heart thudding painfully in her chest. She was all too aware that Chakotay was the only one the captain allowed to speak to her in her isolation.

“Let's just say she's not functioning within acceptable parameters. I thought maybe you could talk to her,” he said.

“I do not think that is a good idea,” she said, turning back towards the view screen.

“She's always made time for you before. For Velocity or one of your discussions on humanity.”

“The captain and I have not spent off duty time together in 42.8 days,” Seven responded. “She does not wish to see me.”

“Maybe she just needs a little push. It isn't good for her to lock herself away. It isn't healthy,” Chakotay said with a sigh. “I'm worried about her. She won't talk to me.”

“...I will try,” Seven said finally.

 

Outside of Kathryn's quarters, Seven pressed the door chime. When it was ignored for a third time, she grew annoyed. Using a Borg algorithm, she bypassed the lock and entered the captain's quarters.

The room was almost totally dark but her Borg-enhanced vision allowed Seven to see the captain sitting on the couch, staring out the window into the blackness.

“I'm not in the mood for a discussion, Seven,” she said without looking at her. “Go away.”

The rejection stung slightly but Seven approached the couch.

“Commander Chakotay is concerned. He says it is not healthy for you to remain secluded. Perhaps we could play Velocity-”

“No,” she said without looking.

“...May I sit with you?”

“No. Just go.”

“Why? Why do you sit here in the dark when your crew needs you?”

 _I need you_ , she added silently.

“Needs what?” Kathryn scoffed. “The captain who ruined their lives? The captain who stranded them here? They'll never see their families again, because of me. They don't need me.”

“You did not ruin my life and I do not think the crew-”

“ _You_ ,” Kathryn said scornfully. “I ripped you from the only life you've ever known and gave you what? An existence of futility. You'll die out here with the rest of us and for what? For me? You were better off Borg!”

Seven felt a tightness in her throat, as if she were being choked.

“I do not believe that,” Seven said, moving closer to the captain. She jumped back when Kathryn threw a Padd at her. It glanced off her arm.

“Go! Leave me _alone_ ,” she shouted and Seven retreated towards the door. The captain chucked another Padd at her and it flew through the door after her as she leapt into the hallway.

The doors shut behind her and the tightness in her throat spread to her chest.

“Are you okay?”

Seven looked up to see Chakotay standing in the hall. She cleared her expression and straightened up.

“I am undamaged,” she said stoically.

“I take it that didn't go well?” he said. “I'm sorry, Seven, but-”

“I will not try again,” she stated and walked away.

Back in the Cargo Bay, Seven sat behind a stack of containers. She rubbed her arm where Kathryn had struck her with the Padd. She was not physically damaged but she felt hurt. Her hand went to her chest, over her heart. She had always thought the human tendency to correlate emotions with the cardiac muscle foolish...now she was not so sure.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn you, meddlesome Chakotay!


	3. Chapter 3

 

Seven did not try to contact the captain again. She made efforts to spend more time with the rest of the crew. She even participated in Tom Paris' _Captain Proton_ Holodeck program. But she missed her captain.

When _Voyager_ was caught in the middle of a conflict between two alien species, Kathryn finally emerged from her quarters. Seven was relieved to have the captain in command again. She followed orders unquestioningly. When they helped the aliens in the Void stop the Malon, they were able to slip through the conduit before it was destroyed. Within ten minutes, stars began to appear on the view screen on the Bridge. They were out of the Void.

Seven went to the Astrometrics Lab, relieved to have something to do. She spent the next several hours scanning the region of space before them. Finally she could keep her mind busy, forget about Kathryn.

It was late, nearing 02:00 when the doors opened behind her. The scent of lavender invaded her olfactory senses and she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

“Captain,” she said without turning around. The doors shut behind Kathryn and Seven was acutely aware that this was the first time they'd been alone together in weeks.

“Seven,” Kathryn said, coming to stand behind her. “...It's good to see stars on the view screen again.”

“Yes. I have been charting our course through the next several thousand light years. Would you like to see?”

“Tomorrow. For now, transfer it to the helm. It's late.”

“I prefer to continue working. I do not require regeneration at this time.”

“No...I thought you might join me for a cup of tea in my quarters,” Kathryn said softly.

“You do not intent to throw more Padds at me?”

Kathryn flinched slightly, her cheeks red.

“No. I'm sorry, Seven. I was... I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“I was not... _physically_ damaged. I will join you.”

Seven transferred her data to the helm, then logged off her workstation. She followed Kathryn silently through the ship. She was surprised at the number of crew members out so late, but she supposed getting out of the Void had put everyone in a better mood. Kathryn greeted all of the people warmly as they passed.

When they entered her quarters, Kathryn went over to the replicator.

“What would you like to drink, Seven? I know I said tea but I'm having coffee.”

“I do not know. I do not like coffee.”

“How about peppermint tea?”

“Sufficient.”

“One coffee, black, and one cup of hot peppermint tea.”

The replicator beeped and the cup of tea appeared. Next to it the coffee materialized but not in a cup. It splashed onto the bottom of the replicator.

“Damn,” Kathryn muttered. “It's been doing that to me for weeks now. I threatened to have it assimilated, but somehow I don't think it took me seriously.”

“Allow me,” Seven said, stepping up to the replicator. She punched in the commands manually and a steaming mug of coffee appeared. She handed the mug to her captain then took the mug of tea.

“Thank you, Seven,” Kathryn said, going to sit on the couch. “Have a seat.”

Seven sat on the opposite end of the couch and took a sip of her tea. She found the taste surprisingly pleasant. She looked at Kathryn as the redhead took a deep drink of coffee and sighed.

“I wanted to apologize to you, Seven... I'm sorry for the way I treated you. For...for throwing things at you,” she said, embarrassed. “And for...what I said. I didn't mean it.”

“I was trying to help...it was Commander Chakotay's idea.”

“I know, Seven. I'm sorry. Depression can be...difficult to understand. So can guilt.”

“I understand guilt,” the blonde said.

“You do?”

“Yes. I experience guilt when I think of the individuals I assimilated as a drone.”

“But that wasn't your fault, Seven! You were a drone. Your thoughts, your actions were not your own.”

“And you are not to blame for the crew being stuck in the Delta Quadrant. The crew does not blame you. You saved the lives of thousands of Ocampa and...me.”

“Yes, you,” Kathryn said with a small smile. “You make it all worth it, Seven. I'd do it all over again for you.”

A strange feeling settled itself in the pit of her stomach and Seven felt her cheeks grow warm. A quick self-diagnostic revealed all her systems were functioning normally.

“You do not believe you should have left me a drone?” she asked.

“Not at all. You've come so far, Seven, and you mean so much to me.”

“I still experience guilt,” she said quickly, looking away.

“For what?”

“For touching you...inappropriately.”

“Oh Seven. You aren't to blame for that, I let you, I...”

“I know my touch was repulsive to you. I am Borg,” she said, looking down at her mesh-covered hand.

“Seven!” the captain exclaimed, shocked, and the blonde looked up to see that she had moved closer to her. “I wasn't repulsed by your Borgness. I wasn't repulsed at all.”

Kathryn touched the starburst implant on her cheek gently and Seven looked at her.

“You were not?”

“Not at all. I...I liked... God help me, I liked feeling you touch me.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I suspect for the same reason you liked touching me.”

“Then why did you avoid me?”

“Because...it is inappropriate for me to feel like that for a member of my crew. And I thought you were just curious, thought if I distanced myself you would forget...”

“I cannot forget. I possess an eidetic memory...and you are wrong, Captain,” she said, setting down her cup of tea. “I was not 'just curious'. These feelings have possessed me for some time now. I was confused at first. I resisted. I fought with you, made you angry with me because I thought it would make the feelings stop. It did not. I am no longer confused, Captain.”

“You're not?”

“No. I desire you, Captain,” Seven said, seeing the same emotion in the captain's gray eyes. “And my intuition tells me you would like for me to kiss you.”

“I thought the Borg didn't believe in intuition?” Kathryn murmured, unconsciously licking her lips as Seven drew closer.

“I am not _all_ Borg,” Seven said softly and pressed her lips to the captain's.

Kathryn's lips parted and Seven slipped her tongue into her mouth. She tasted like coffee, a taste Seven had found unpleasant until now. She had no experience kissing, she only knew that she wanted to taste every corner of the captain's delicious mouth. Kathryn's tongue met hers and they danced. Seven's cortical node barely processed the captain's hands moving to her hair, pulling the pins loose, and burying her fingers in the blonde locks.

Needing to feel her skin again, Seven slid her hands beneath the captain's gray tunic. Her skin was warm in her hands as she slid them up Kathryn's body curiously.

“W-wait,” Kathryn said, breaking the kiss. “Wait, we can't. I'm your captain, it isn't right-”

“It does not feel wrong,” Seven said, meeting her gaze, her hands still under her shirt. “I am not a member of your crew. I only stay on board because I want to. Because I want to please you, Captain.”

“If...if you're going to touch me like that, for god's sake call me Kathryn.”

“Kathryn...” Seven murmured, and ran her thumbs over hardened nipples, causing Kathryn to moan. “I want this, Kathryn.”

She started to pull the tunic over the captain's head.

“S-shouldn't we...slow down?”

“I do not want to,” Seven said, pulling the tunic off and tossing it aside. She immediately began kissing the bare flesh of the captain's neck, tasting the salt of her skin. Kathryn moaned as Seven unfastened her bra and tossed it aside. The Borg kissed her way down to her breasts and took one of the hardened tips into her mouth. Kathryn arched her back, burying her fists in Seven's hair again.

“Oh...Seven,” she groaned as the blonde stroked her nipple with her tongue. She reached for the back of Seven's biosuit.

“How the hell do you take this thing off?” she muttered.

Seven released the nipple and smirked. She looked up at the captain and arched her implant.

“I thought you wanted to slow down?” she teased.

“Don't look at me like that. I need to feel you. _Now_.”

“I will comply,” Seven said, standing up. She reached for the hidden button of her biosuit and peeled it off. She kicked off her heels and stood nude before the woman she loved. She watched the captain's gray eyes look her over.

“Am I satisfactory, Cap-Kathryn?” Seven asked, all too aware of every scar, every Borg implant on her body.

“You are more than satisfactory, Seven, you're...every inch of you is perfection,” she whispered, her gray eyes hungry. “Bedroom. Now.”

“I will comply,” Seven said with a smirk and scooped up the half-naked starship captain and carried her to the bedroom.

 


	4. Chapter 4

As Seven placed her on the bed, an arm around her her shoulders and the other hand sliding up from her knee to stroke along her flank, Kathryn was suddenly at a loss. Now that it was happening, finally happening, she was- afraid. She knew she was not as young, or nearly as beautiful. Couldn't Seven could see that? Kathryn was sure Seven would regret it later, come to her senses... but god help her, she couldn't say no. Guilt twisted in her throat.Seven's larger hand easily palmed the base of her skull and it thrilled her to recall how terrifyingly powerful this woman could be...and compare it to the gentleness of her mouth on her own.

Seven leaned in to the kiss, resting her weight on her knees- knees that were between Kathryn's parted thighs. Seven took a moment to evaluate the information- then pressed her advantage, using her weight to pin Kathryn bodily to the mattress. The barrage of information- the sensory input without the protection of her bio-suit was deafening. The thread count of the sheets, the air- its composition, currents, pressure- and then it was only Kathryn's warm skin against her stomach, her chest. When Kathryn's hands stayed put hovering on her shoulders, Seven noted the tension in Kathryn's limbs, a hesitancy. Seven could clearly detect the captain's arousal, read every physical sign with aching clarity, but still felt the doubt.

“Kathryn,” She kissed the hollow behind the delicate shell of ear tasting the name again. It pleased her, as did the shudder that followed her invocation. She knew she possessed the ability to manipulate this human woman- she could simply take her now- however she wanted. This fragile human woman who she wanted so _desperately_ but... “If this is 'too fast' I will remove myself. Ask, and I will comply.”

Kathryn slid her hands from the drone's- her drone?- _Her Seven_ 's shoulders and into her loose hair. She didn't want to belittle Seven's feelings by voicing her own doubts, her misgivings...And as badly as she wanted to take every inch of Seven's silken skin under her hands she still felt frozen.

“ No, Seven it's just...I'm terribly afraid that I'll disappoint you.” There, she said it. She hated being so candid about her feelings. She was a woman who compartmentalized. She had nice, safe boxes for her feelings so they would stay nice, and safely, out of her way. Now, with her darling kissing her so sweetly; it was like Christmas morning for every one of her demons ... as well as her desires. Part of her was still caught up in the fact that Seven wanted her at all. Kissing in her living quarters, Seven's warm mouth on her nipple- it seemed like a far away fantasy. Then there was the fact that for her, this would never be enough- once would never be enough. Certainly once would be all she would get and she wanted it to be prefect enough to last her a life time. She would just have to put aside her fear of not being enough- how she would not be enough for this woman, and take everything she was offering now.

Seven kissed the tip of her nose, then brushed her mouth once, twice over Kathryn's before skating over her jaw. “ You have never been afraid of me. Do not start now.”

Kathryn couldn't help the smile that quirked her thin lips. She did have a point. She'd deal with the repercussions later, deal wither emotional hangups later. For now... She scratched her fingers along Seven's scalp, down her long neck and down along her muscled back. She traced the edges of the implants that littered her skin and the larger structure that corseted her ribs. When Seven gasped, she slotted her thigh still clad in her uniform trousers, between Sevens and urged her narrow hips down along it.

She watched the woman's eyes close, and her lips part, panting slightly. She repeated the action several more times, until Seven's hips rocked on their own accord and Kathryn freed a hands to cup of Seven's breasts. When Seven whimpered, Kathryn increased the pressure on both fronts and then paused. She could do better.

“Seven, up here.” She used her thigh between her lover's legs to push the woman up slightly.

Seven groaned, thenn said a little dazedly, “W-what? I want-”  
  
“Yes, I know exactly what you want, come here; Let me give it to you.”

Seven made a few uncertain motions up the bed and then to give her a bit of room, Kathryn slid down slightly, until Seven's knees were on either side of her shoulders. Kathryn watched as Seven looked down at her and she saw the second she understood. Yes, she thought, this will be better. She passed her fingers lightly up the backs of Seven's thighs. Then gripping her ass with a little more force then strictly necessary, Kathryn pulled Seven down to her mouth.

Seven stared down at her captain and forgot to breathe. Kathryn's change of demeanor was welcome, was as welcome as the fingers that traced the implant that covered her sacrum and massaged the sensitive skin. She could not stop staring at Kathryn's face, her eyes closed in concentration as she- as she did _that_ with her mouth. Seven had meant to only run her fingers through the soft red hair against her skin, but when her lover's hot tongue pushed up inside her, she found she had fisted her hand into the mass of silk-was holding her firmly to her and Kathryn was groaning _into_ her.

Seven braced her left hand along the headboard for support, her thighs were trembling. She was grateful she had done so, when a heartbeat later she felt Kathryn close her lips around her clitoris and a penetrate her with two long digits. Seven dropped her head to her bicep and tendered her body into Janeway's keeping. She seemed to know how to use it more effectively than she did. Breathing hard, she felt her hips rocking with- against?- the rhythm Janeway's tongue and fingers were setting. Her eyes snapped open when Kathryn dew her clit into her mouth and sucked, laving it with her tongue as her fingers found their mark again, again... and again. Seven's eyes focused on Kathryn's and the emotions she saw there were so raw she thought she would cry. She did the next best thing, and climaxed calling Kathryn's name.

She felt light and boneless. She could feel a distinct tingling sensation in soles of her feet and her eyelids were unaccountably weighted. At Kathryn's gentle prompting, she rolled to her back with less coordination than she would ever admit to. Her captain was stroking her hair, holding her in her arms. It was the safest, most pleasurable feeling she could remember.  
  
Kathryn felt like her heart would burst. She molded herself to Sevens side and gathered her close, threading her fingers through long blond hair. Shew was trying to gather as much of this moment, the smell of her skin, the feel of her hair, the taste of her on her lips. Kathryn was sure that any second now, Seven would rise from the bed, tell her that the experience had been adequate, and leave. She could bear that, she thought, if only she could hold on to Seven for just a bit longer. If Kathryn could remember how soft and smooth her skin had been against her own, how for just a little while Seven had been hers, then she'd be alright... Probably.

Seven shifted against her minutely and Kathryn braced herself. This was it.

“Kathryn, that was...” Seven started to speak but paused. Kathryn was holding her so tightly, her body just shy of ridged. Slower than she would have preferred, Seven compiled fractured pieces of data and came to a conclusion regarding Janeway's behavior. She would correct this. Immediately.  
  
Seven worked her hands to Kathryn's hips and tugged impatiently at the waistband of her pants.

“Off. Take these off. Now.”

“Seven, that's alright. You don't have to, just let me hold-”

Seven did not appreciate Kathryn's reticence,or her adherence to woefully deficient logic. So she kissed her. When Janeway tried to speak a second time, Seven silenced her in the same manner. She did so for the next four occasions as well. With each kiss, Seven took more of Kathryn's skin under her fingertips, manipulated with her palms, teased with the slightest grazes of her nails. At last, she tugged at the fastening of the clothing that was still barred her way. Kathryn's hands came up to her shoulders again, offering resistance. With mounting frustration, Seven broke their kiss and rested her forehead against Kathryn's.

“Do you not wish for me to make love to you Kathryn?”

 

Kathryn blinked at her, her eyes wide. Seven noted the sensation of her respiration and concluded that this was where Kathryn's logic broke down. She would supply the necessary data for a meaningful resolution.  
  
“Do you believe that I would leave you?”

Seven waited but, received no reply. She tried a different tact.  
  
“Kathryn, I require from you a lasting arrangement.”

No reply. But seven saw the fluttering of what looked suspiciously like hope. She continued in this vein.

“I love you.” She watched Kathryn's mouth move wordlessly and thought that repetition was in order.

“I love you.” Perhaps embellishment. “I love you, I have loved you. I will love you.”

Kathryn's hands cupped her face, and Seven patiently waited for _her_ Kathryn to reach the appropriate conclusion. When Kathryn did respond her voice was harsh and shaky.

“You, you want me to touch you? Again?”  
  


Seven sighed in the manner of one long suffering, and Kissed her again. “Foolish.” kiss. “Impossible.” kiss. “Infuriating” a bit of force, and a gasp. “Woman.”

With her panting and clutching at her in the desired manner, Seven supposed she should be as clear as possible- to avoid further complications. “ Yes, I do. Now, I want to touch you. I want to make you moan my name.”  
  
“Oh, Seven.”  
“That is a start.”

 

Kathryn's fingers fumbled with Seven's on her waistband, and she couldn't help the nervous laugh that bubbled in her throat as Seven dragged the offending fabric away. Kathryn felt as if her last protection, the last of some detachment had been stripped from her and she knew that whatever responses she had next would not be neat, or safe.

Seven kept her pressed along side her taller frame, and Kathryn adored the way their bodies fit against each other. Sevens mouth was on hers, burning languid kisses that made her breathing hitch and her hands tremble where she searched for purchase along muscle, bone and flesh and implant. Kathryn bit her lip as Sevens hand trailed down the dip of her waist, across her belly and into the thatch of hair between her legs. No, this would not be neat, or safe.

Seven breathed hot into her ear, “ Kathryn, you are wonderful.” Her arm snaked around her neck and to place her hand between Kathryn's shoulder blades to brace her. To hold them together as Seven's hand worked in slow strokes against her sex. “You feel.. you feel like silk. Hot, wet silk.”

 

Seven was overwhelmed by the feeling of her captain in her arms. She was giddy, a feeling she did not recall experiencing, at the prospect of giving Janeway as much pleasure as she could physically handle. Perhaps more. She dipped her fingers a little lower, and kissing her possessively, curled her fingers inside.

“Seven, yes. Just a litle bit to -oh- THAT is...” Seven found she could not smile, could not breathe or express her triumph while she was kissing her lover , so broke off the caress. She continuing to stroke and thrust, using her thigh as extra source of pressure, and rocking her own hips along the leg Janeway had tangled with her own. The sensation of skin against hers was insurmountably superior to other sensory imput.

“I love you. I love you Kathryn, and I will give you such pleasure.”

She studied her face, reading it as best as she could to maximize the efficiency of her movements. Kathryn's mouth parted, opening in a wordless, soundless cry. That would not do. Unreasonably, illogically, she wanted Kathryn to voice her name. She wanted to be the only thing left in the universe for her lover, as Kathryn had been for her. She eased off her ministrations, and when Kathryn made a thwarted sound of frustration, she smirked. Then picked up the pace. When she brought Kathryn back to the edge again, and still she did not make a sound, Seven suspected the woman was holding back. Very well, she thought, more pleasure than you can handle.

She ducked her head and sucked one of Kathryn's hardened nipples into her mouth, flicking it hard against her teeth as she moved her thumb in a a gesture that missed the correct spot against her clit by point six of a millimeter. That got the groan, the rich tones she wanted. She repeated the action and bore up a little bit harder with her fingers, seeking deeper into-

“Seven, you're killing me- God, please-”  
  
Seven darted back up, kissed her speaking almost into her open mouth. “Do not beg your deity, Kathryn, beg me.”  
  
Seven has suspected his would illicit a response, but not one of this magnitude. In this case she was gloriously pleased to have miscalculated. Her lover fairly came apart, her hand was bathed in a sudden rush of wetness and her own name echoed fantastically in her ears in a desperate passionate sob. She was careful to ease her fingers slowly away from muscles that were still reflexively clenched around her. Drawing her back in. She made a mental promise to visit them. Often.

Seven gathered Kathryn against her and was mildly alarmed to find she was crying. “Kathryn, have I damaged you?” She had been sure she hadn't but the woman was so fragile, so elegant and delicate-

  
  
Kathryn burred her face in the crook of Sevens shoulder, breathing shallow and feeling as if she either had no body, or alternatively, that every one of her nerve endings were singing- loudly.

 

Seven looked at her fondly. Perhaps more repetition. “I love you. Did I please you?” She knew she had, but humans, Seven had found, required this kind of discourse. With Kathryn though, she didn't mind. She wanted to hear her say the words.

 

When Kathryn had located enough neurons to rope together to form a semi coherent response she found her voice thick, and she couldn't stop once she started. “ Yes, yes, Seven. Seven, I love you, I love I didn't think I could tell you-that you would ever- that you could- that you would want- You want to stay? S-stay with me and I'll give you-what ever you want, anything I can. I love you-”  
  
“Hush.” Sevens chest felt full, and she was content. “ I do not require anything else. I have you.”  
She rocked Kathryn softly, discovered she found the motion soothing, and continued. “ I have you. Unless you can make one reasonable appeal as to why I should let you go, I will not.”

Seven continued to cradle her, and gradually she felt and heard Kathryn calm. She savored the weight of her in her arms, and the prospect of continuing to share this intimacy made her smile. Made her _happy_.

“I can't.”  
  
She couldn't be objecting, not when this was right, so _obviously_ correct. Seven looked down, and was relieved to see Kathryn smiling back at her, looking so.. free.

 

“I cant think of one reason Seven. Not one. I'm..” she looked away “ I'm sorry I fell apart, I didn't mean to I -”

“Feel free to continue to do so. I do not mind.”

“Oh.”  
Kathryn smiled shyly and Seven decided that this was where she belonged.  
  


“In that case,” Kathryn said, her eyes sparking and her kisses along Seven's neck changed in character, “Let me reward you for taking care of me so well.”  
  
_Precisely_ where she belonged.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a good spot to end on I think, everyone gets a bit of closure.


End file.
